So last night I was thinking

about all of my friends that are getting married/starting families. I was also thinking about how I don't feel like I am ready to get married yet, or have babies, or any of that. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it isn't that I am not ready or not capable of doing these things and doing them well, it's just that I feel like I have so much more living to do before I reach that point.

I want to travel, see the world, and photograph it some more. I want to meet people that challenge me, shape me, break me, and help get me put back together. I want to read until my eyeballs shrivel up and fall out of my head, only for me to dust them off and put them back in again so I can read some more. I want to learn so much it makes my head spin. I want to get so completely lost I think I'll never find my way and then blaze a trail to where I need to be. I want to feel alive, vibrant and, more than anything else, happy.

I wish the best for my friends starting new lives with significant others, and I can't wait 'til I get there, but right now I'm in no hurry.

Merry Christmas to all!

And to all a good night!

Holy cow

my jaw is in pain.

That being said:

Tomorrow

my wisdom teeth get yanked. Bring on the pain.

If you want more love

why don't you say so?

Back then I swore

I was gonna marry him someday, but I realized bigger dreams of mine.

When all you wanted was to be wanted

Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now.

Much of the storm has passed

and I made it.

"You are what you love, not what loves you. That's what I decided a long time ago."--Adaptation.

Epic fail, self.

I just tried to post my schedule from now til the end of the semester and failed because there is too much going on. Wah wah.



Save me.

Two things:

Wonderful:



Wonderful-er:

Gobble. Gobble. Gobble.

Love this so much.

Pimp my...golfcart?

Yikes.

Shameless plug...

If you wanna buy a magazine subscription...please do so! :)

First 5K and I feel great!

I ran my first ever 5K and it went swimmingly! It was kind of cold and it drizzled at bit before the race, but I love running when its cold out. Sure, I didn't finish first. Sure I only finished with five people after me. Sure, the first place finisher ran it three times. Sure, my fingers are a little bit swollen. BUT! I didn't finish last! I ran almost the entire time! I finished in about thirty minutes, which I think is good for my first ever 5K! My lungs didn't have any trouble and in fact were not gasping for breath! My mental stamina isn't awesome, so that's something to work on! There's nowhere to go but up! This totally made my day. :)

Time it was and what a time it was

it was. A time of innocence, a time of confidences. Long ago it must be, I have a photograph. Preserve your memories, they're all that's left of you.

One year ago today

I was typing this and this about my trip to Germany. I can't believe that it was a year ago already! Now when I look back at that psychotic trip to Germany with Joanie, Suzanne, and Sarah I can't stop laughing, get nostalgic, and Europe-sick at the same time. Who knew that when I was miserable and sleeping on the floor of the Salzberg train station that a year from then I would look back and smile. I love hindsight.

In other news: I WILL FINISH MY FULBRIGHT APPLICATION TODAY! I WILL! I WILL!

...I am wearing my Universidad de Granada hoodie for inspiration. And if that's not enough inspiration, this might work:

"life is so ridiculously gorgeous, strange, heartbreaking, horrific, etc., that we are compelled to describe it to ourselves, but we can't! we cannot do it! and so we make art."
(via Taylor Self)

I am in one of those moods

where I am super happy, yet feel like crying all at once.

If you gaze for long into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. (via Julia Eicher)

Happy Birthday F. Scott Fitzgerald!

Well I was correct about my last post

but I am going to continue to write anyway.

I chose my editors today, and I am very excited! I just hope the other 11 don't stop participating in Broadside because I didn't pick them.

Le sigh.

I have also decided

after publishing that last post, that no one reads this at all. Oh well.

via Julia Eicher, via Totempole.

:)

Isn’t life just a mirage of the world before the world?

via Julia Eicher

There is a cricket in my room

that will NOT stop chirping, and I am about to lose my mind. DISASTER.

Sleep fail.

I am really super tired

so I think I am going to hit the hay. Yes I realize it's only almost 10pm on a Saturday night. But I am acting like a zombie, so sleep seems like a good choice.

I really hate this headache that I've got going on. It's pretending to hang around because I am tired, so I tried to take a nap to calm it. Nothing happened. I have had lots of fluids today, so it isn't because I am dehydrated. The only explanation is the weather, of course!

It needs to make up its mind, otherwise I will get no rest this evening!

Holy cow check out

these hairstyles! They're awesome!

I had a wonderful night out last night. Here's to hoping the rest of Senior Year follows suit!

I just watched Billy Elliot and now I really wish I had seen it on Broadway.

I am completely fascinated

with the RMS Titanic right now. I am taking a page from Sarah's book, I guess. Watched it this evening (somewhat with Megan before she fell asleep and then left) and now I think it's bed time.

Titanic was called the Ship of Dreams, and it was. It really was.

Seeing twenty shooting stars

isn't too shabby as far as I am concerned. Especially with the light pollution the suburbs deal with. It was also wonderful to see Kylie, as always.

Heading back to Peoria tomorrow. Here's to hoping my key is where it needs to be so I can move in. Bring on senior year.

New pictures.

Farewell NYC

Waterworks have begun. :(

Grumpin'

Today was just not my day.

It started with maybe the worst night of sleep ever. My air conditioner was being stupid and now actually blowing cold air, so it was hot as all get out. Add 3 tipsy girls into a not very large room, clad with two large windows that warm the room during the day anyway and what you get is an uncomfortable, stuffy sleeping habitat.

No good. I slept poorly at best.

Then work was work...I still can't believe it's my last week! :(

And then after work I went to take my 2 boxes of books to the post office, but FML because the two closest ones close at 5pm and didn't have an outside drop off! My arms and back are sore now and it's uncomfortable.

THEN! Theeeen I went on a hunt for a luggage scale. I had called Macy's on my lunch break and asked if they had any in stock. The woman on the phone said yes. Success! So I go there after dinner and wouldn't you know it? They are out of stock. The woman so kindly directed me to this place called Luggage Source, which was already CLOSED. Blah. Disaster.

And now...sleep!

Mini Jaw Breakers

are virtually useless, but I like the texture. They pretty much are just sugar, and are not even close to real jaw breakers. You can definitely chew these puppies.

Mashuppppp

via Julia Eicher

Trust me, you'll want to listen to this one.

From now on

you may call me Summer Finn. Everyone else can now be referred to as Tom Hanson. Please and thank you.

Forgotten Chicago

I am such a little worker bee

I am totally on the Bradley Website. Check it out.

:)

This is who I am seeing on the 7th on the Today Show?! I can't wait.

HOLY SHA-MOLEY!

I find this inexplicably enthralling. Maybe it's because I had a tattoo dream last night.

You Make My Dreams Come True

I cannot stop listening to Hall and Oates' "You Make My Dreams Come True."

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

Yet somehow I kind of want to spend it alone, doing my own thing. But I don't know what I want to do. I see a problem with this.

I saw 500 Days of Summer yesterday and absolutely LOVED it. Check it out:



It seriously put me in such an extraordinary mood. :) Joseph Gordon-Levitt was great! I remember the days when he was on 3rd Rock from the Sun.

Maybe I will go to the Museum of Natural History. Just maybe.

I don't want to leave this city.

Lite-Brite...FULLBRIGHT!

I just looked it up and found out that 74 people applied for the same Fulbright program in New Zealand that I am going to apply for. 10 grants will be awarded for next cycle (which sounds soANTM).

A little less than 14% of the applicants to the New Zealand program get grants.

Super.

Why? Because I believe life is for the living. I believe in taking risks and biting off more than you can chew. [Kenneth on 30 Rock]

Why This City is the Greatest

Last night Rachel and I went to see the NY Philharmonic Orchestra play Mozart, Beethoven and Mendelssohn for free in Central Park. It was wonderful.

How wonderful, you ask? Check out what the New York Times has to say about it.

Oh, and Alec Baldwin was there. That was just the icing on an already perfect cake.

Fotografia

These are mostly pictures from while I was abroad during the fall semester, but just the same, I like putting pictures on there better than Facebook, so I am sharing them with you here.

Without further ado.

Everyone in the Children's Division at S&S received this email the other day. I thought I would share, in the spirit of all things youthful and nostalgic:

The Best Kids' Books Ever.

What the heck! Something good, something bad:

Why S&S's eBook Venture Will Inevitably Fail.

Check out the show Dexter. You will not regret it.

Promise.

Going to Orlando tomorrow!! :)

Today was a pretty good day. Minus I almost passed out this morning like as soon as I got to work. Maybe it's because I was reading a really bloody, graphic part of the manuscript I was working on?

Man, I really am a pansy.

Either way. Mental image: Me, dressed up for work. Lying on the floor in my cubicle with my upper body under the desk.

They probably thought I was dead or something. I mean, it really probably looked like it. But Kate was wonderful and got me some water and gave me a handful of her Hershey's Kissables.

Nothing like chocolate to bring your blood sugar up.

My mom sent me a flower cake at work. It's beautiful (and also a big hit with the rest of the office)!

I still can't believe I am almost 21. I keep forgetting. AND Disney World is coming up. (!!!)

Book treasures of the day: The Graduate by Charles Webb, Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe, and the books from the Mortal Instruments series.

Man, I love this job.

I also just saw my roommate Katy completely naked. Eesh, that was unpleasant.

La fotographia

Please go check out Hallie's photography skills. They're pretty wicked.

I may sound like a pubescent boy, but I sure love this city!

In the last six days I have learned may things:

New York suits me. It suits me mighty fine.

Publishing is what I want to do. (The internship has been AMAZING)

Washington Square is perfect for people watching.

I am actually a lot better at making friends than I thought I would be (but I got really lucky. Like, really, really lucky).

Bradley cafeteria food really is that bad.

:)

Summer in NYC

Well it certainly has been awhile since I posted something that wasn't an excerpt from a book I was reading! I do like to share what I am reading (this week its The Amber Spyglass by Philip Pullman because I really liked The Golden Compass in my YAL class this semester) but I suppose a little somethin' somethin' wouldn't entirely be awful. I will cut to the chase.

I am spending the summer in New York City.

I somehow managed to snag an unbelievable internship with Simon and Schuster this summer! I didn't think it was possible, but like I told Sara...I was going big or going home. After one disastrous phone call with Harper Collins (in which they hung up on me almost immediately after I asked if a phone interview was possible), I thought I was pretty much set with Northwestern University Press in their acquisitions department. But then alas! S&S called, and here we are.

I leave at the end of the month and will be there through the first week of August. (!!!)

Ana was right, 2009 was bound to be better than 2008. And now almost six months into it...I think she's right!

When we listened to the wind together, we understood exactly what it was saying. When we sat close in the dark, we could feel each other's broken hearts beating.[AH]

Oh how I love Toni Morrison

The easiest thing to do would be to build a case our of her foot. That is what she herself did. But to find out the truth about how dreams die, one should never take the word of the dreamer. The end of her lovely beginning was probably the cavity in one of her front teeth. She preferred, however, to think always of her foot. Although she was the ninth of eleven children and lived on a ridge of red Alabama clay seven miles from the nearest road, the complete indifference with which a rusty nail was met when it punched clear through her foot during her second year of life saved Pauline Williams from total anonymity. The wound left her with a crooked, archless foot that flopped when she walked--not a limp that would have eventually twisted her spine, but a way of lifting the bad foot as though she were extracting it from little whirlpools that threatened to pull it under. Slight as it was, this deformity explained for her many things that would have been otherwise incomprehensible: why she alone of all the children had no nickname; why there were no funny jokes and anecdotes about funny things she had done; why no one ever remarked on her food preferences--no saving of the wing or neck for her--no cooking of the peas in a separate pot without rice because she did not like rice; why nobody teased her; why she never felt at home anywhere, or that she belonged anyplace. Her general feeling of separateness and unworthiness she blamed on her foot. [TM]

Something I Actually Like About Catcher

The best thing , though, in that museum was that everything always stayed right where it was. Nobody'd move. You could go there a hundred thousand times, and that Eskimo would still be just finished catching those two fish, the birds would still be on their way south, the deers would still be drinking out of that water hole, with their pretty antlers and their pretty, skinny legs, and that squaw with the naked bosom would still be weaving that same blanket. Nobody'd be different. The only thing that would be different would be you. Not that you'd be so much older or anything. It wouldn't be that, exactly. You'd just be different, that's all. You'd have an overcoat on this time. Or the kid that was your partner in line the last time had got the scarlet fever and you'd have a new partner. Or you'd have a substitute taking the class, instead of Miss Aigletinger. Or you'd heard your mother and father having a terrific fight in the bathroom. Or you'd just passed by one of those puddles in the street with gasoline rainbows in them. I mean you'd be different in some way--I can't explain what I mean. And even if I could, I'm not sure I'd feel like it. [JDS]

Huck Finn Everywhere

Recently I was assigned to read The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn for my Young Adult Literature class.

Then I was assigned three articles in the Argumentative Writing class to read for homework, and lo and behold...there was an article about Huck Finn.

Who knew?

I find this article very interesting. Thoughts?

Cross-Country Snow

"Maybe we'll never go skiing again, Nick," George said.

"We've got to," said Nick. "It isn't worth while if you can't."

"We'll go, all right," George said.

"We've got to," Nick agreed.

"I wish we could make a promise about it," George said.

Nick stood up. He buckled his wind jacket tight. He leaned over George and picked up the two ski poles from against the wall. He stuck one of the ski poles into the floor.

"There isn't any good in promising," he said.

They opened the door and went out. It was very cold. The snow had crusted hard. The road ran up the hill into the pine trees.

They took down their skis from where they leaned against the wall in the inn. Nick put on his gloves. George was already started up the road, his skis on his shoulder. Now that would have the run home together.

[EH]

Chapter XII

If it happened right down close in front of you, you could see Villalta snarl at the bull and curse him, and when the bull charged, he swung back firmly like an oak when the wind hits it, his legs tight together, the muleta trailing and the sword following the curve behind. Then he cursed the bull, flopped the muleta at him, and swung back from the charge his feet firm, the muleta curving and at each swing the crowd roaring.

When he started to kill it was all in the same rush. The bull looking at him straight in front, hating. He drew out the sword from the folds of the muleta and sighted with the same movement and called to the bull, Toro! Toro! and the bull charged and Villalta became one with the bull and then it was over. Villalta standing straight and the red hilt of the sword sticking out dully between the bull's shoulders. Villalta, his hand up at the crowd and the bull roaring blood, looking at Villalta and his legs caving.
[EH]